Granted.
Your leg stops shaking, but whatever you prop it up against starts shaking instead. A vase falls on your head, staining it with some weird red liquid. Your heart isn't beating, and you stay still forever until you become fossil fuel, millions of years later.
I wish I had a key.
You have a key, but it does not unlock anything.
I wish the Lichess devs would add bughouse.
Granted.
They add Bughouse, but then you discover that it's really just a house full of computer bugs and the developers have been replaced with devs! They make this awesome site unusable, so you have to go to
chess.com, that stupid house across the street.
(Are you still there,
@thibault and
@Toadofsky and everybody else who works on
lichess.org/?)
I wish i had a quarter.
Wish granted.
You get a quarter. Unfortunately, it was part of some kids fake money playset thing.
I wish I had a magic carpet.
Granted.
After two minutes, you fall off.
I wish I could read minds, even over the internet.
Wish granted.
You can read minds, even over the internet, but you have to read them in binary code. You can't turn off this power. Or your internet.
I wish you people would give me real, serious life advice.
Granted.
The problem is that everybody has his own point of view about life, which leads to contradictory advices. "Maybe, maybe not" is the only synthesis that you're able to make about all those friendly and sincere considerations.
One day, the person you love asks you to move into her house to share her life, and all that you can say is "maybe, maybe not". You go back to your cold and empty flat with the mark of her five fingers on your left cheek, and the bunch of daisies that you wanted to give her stuck into your nostrils.
As days go by, putting one foot in front of the other becomes impossible for you, and the ambulancemen find you motionless on the pedestrian crossing of a crossroad. The doctors, bewildered by your case and fearing for your health, decide to send you to the hospital for observation.
This is where you end, alone and locked up in that strange, cold and logical place that is your neuronal world, and where you live a life of indecision.
Vkrish wishes he could do whatever he wants without being held responsible. (He does NOT want to do anything bad.). (see #260). (No, no, don't thank me vkrish, i just had no idea for a wish^^).
@vkrish Wish granted.
You can do whatever you want without being held responsible. Unfortunately, since you don't do anything bad, there is nothing to be held responsible for. Therefore, your wish was useless and you end up being a guy version of a goody two shoes and everyone finds you annoying and doesn't want to be your friend anymore.
I wish there were more hours in a day.
Granted.
More hours in a day. You can never get used to it and always wake up at the wrong time. Your date breaks up with you because you never go to your dates. You're fired because you show up late for work on countless days. You eventually starve to death because you always think the stores are closed.
I wish i wasn't cancerous in online chats.
Granted.
You are not cancerous. Instead, you are heart-disease-erous.
I wish that I could wish for whatever I want.